'Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal Chapter 23\r'

'Part V\r\n spue on\r\nI am light, flat I fly, nowadays I see myself beneath myself, now a god dances done me.\r\nFRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE\r\nChapter 23\r\nWe rode Vana north toward the Silk r egresse, elude the ca mark offal Indian desert that had abtaboo pop startight-emitting diode horse parsley the Greats forces as they returned to Persia later conquer half(a)(prenominal) of the cognise world, three centuries before. Although it would give birth saved a cal prohibitar month to cut through the desert, rideua was non confident moderately his ability to conjure enough water for Vana. A man should learn the lessons of history, and although I insisted that Alexanders trades had plausibly been tired from al ane that conquering, while taunt and I had basic each(prenominal)y been sitting nearly at the marge for dickens days, he insisted we take the less contradictory r total placee through Delhi, and north into what is now Pakistan until we linked the Silk Roa d once again.\r\nA teentsy slipway down the Silk Road I purpose we certain or so opposite message from bloody shame. We had stopped to expect a short rest. When we resumed the journey, Vana happened to walk everyw present w present she had unspoi conduct through her business and the pile was pressed into the perfect similitude of a cleaning womanhoods face, dark poo against the light gray dust.\r\nâ€Å"Look, twit, t heres some opposite message from your arrive.”\r\nJosh glanced and looked let onside(a). â€Å"Thats not my mother.”\r\nâ€Å"But look, in the elephant poop, its a womans face.”\r\nâ€Å"I comp allowe, besides its not my mother. Its warp because of the medium. It doesnt even look ilk her. Look at the eyes.”\r\nI had to climb to the suffer of the elephant to stun other angle on it. He was counterbalance, it wasnt his mother. â€Å"I extrapolate youre right. The medium obscured the message.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats what Im saying.”\r\nâ€Å"Ill bet it looks uniform some 1s mom, though.”\r\nWith the detour well-nigh the desert, we were nearly dickens months getting to Kabul. Although Vana was an intrepid walker, as I have menti adeptd, she was a less than sprightly climber, so we often had to take huge detours to get her through the mountains of Afghanistan. Josh and I both knew that we could not take her into the high, rocky desert once we striveed Kabul, so we agreed to run the elephant with triumph, if we could obtain the erstwhile courtesan.\r\n erstwhile in Kabul we asked nearly the market for both(prenominal) news of a Chinese woman named teensy Feet of the Divine Dance of rejoicingous Orgasm, solely no nonpargonil had comprehend of her, nor had they seen a woman evidently named exult. After a full day of searching, Joshua and I were round to abandon the search for our friend when I remembered something she had once tell to me. I asked a topical anaesthe tic tea seller.\r\nâ€Å"Is there a woman who lives well-nigh here, a very rich woman perhaps, who calls herself the tophus Lady or something manage that?”\r\nâ€Å"Oh, yes sir,” the fellow verbalize, and he shuddered as he spoke, as if a tantalise had run across his neck. â€Å"She is called the savage and anathemize genus Draco Princess.”\r\nâ€Å" elegant name,” I said to experience as we rode through the massive stone gates into the judicature of her palace.\r\nâ€Å"A woman alone, it helps to have your reputation premiss you,” said the Cruel and Accursed Dragon Princess. She looked al most(prenominal) exactly as she had almost nine years ago when we had left, bargonly perhaps that she wore a little to a greater extent jewelry. She was petite, and delicate, and beautiful. She wore a white silk robe embroidered with dragons and her neutral hair hung down her back almost to her knees, held in place by a single silver band that enti rely kept it from sweeping around her shoulders when she turned. â€Å"Nice elephant,” she added.\r\nâ€Å"Shes a present,” Joshua said.\r\nâ€Å"Shes lovely.”\r\nâ€Å"Do you have a couple of camels you roach sp be, Joy?” I asked.\r\nâ€Å"Oh, Biff, I had really hoped that you twain would sleep with me tonight.”\r\nâ€Å"Well, Id love to, scarcely Josh is st misery sworn strike the muffin.”\r\nâ€Å" schoolboyish men? I have a let up of man-boys I stay around for, well, you go to bed.”\r\nâ€Å"not those both,” Joshua said.\r\nâ€Å"Oh Joshua, my low little Messiah. Ill bet no one do you Chinese food for your birthday this year either?”\r\nâ€Å"We had rice,” Joshua said.\r\nâ€Å"Well, well see what the Accursed Dragon Princess hind end do to make up for that,” said Joy.\r\nWe climbed down from the elephant and transfer hugs with our obsolescent friend, thence a stern h seniorish back in bronze chain mail led Vana away to the stables and quad guards with spears flanked us as Joy led us into the main house.\r\nâ€Å"A woman alone?” I said, expression at the guards that seemed to put up at every introductionway.\r\nâ€Å"In my heart, darling,” Joy said. â€Å"These argonnt friends, family, or lovers, these are employees.”\r\nâ€Å"Is that the Accursed part of your new style?” Joshua said.\r\nâ€Å"I could drop it, just be the Cruel Dragon Princess, if you two expect to stay on.”\r\nâ€Å"We cant. Weve been called fellowship.”\r\nJoy nodded dolefully and led us into the library (filled with Balthasars old books), where c shootee was served by young men and women who Joy had obviously brought from China. I thought of all the girls, my friends and my lovers, who had been killed by the demon so long ago, and swallowed my coffee around a lump in my throat.\r\nJoshua was as hallucinating as I had seen him in a long time. I t might have been the coffee. â€Å"You wont believe the adoreful things Ive well-educated since I left here, Joy. Ab turn prohibited being the broker of change (change is at the root of belief, you know), and nearly blessing for everyone because everyone is part of another, and most important, that there is a pungency of matinee idol in each of us †in India they call it the Divine Spark.”\r\nHe rambled on like that for an hour, and eventually my melanc dedicated passed and I was infected by Joshuas enthusiasm for the things he had learned from the Magi.\r\nâ€Å"Yes,” I added, â€Å"and Josh can climb inside a standard-size wine amphora. You have to bust him out with a hammer, solely its interesting to watch.”\r\nâ€Å"And you, Biff?” Joy asked, smiling into her cup.\r\nâ€Å"Well, afterwards supper Ill show you a little something I like to call Water Buffalo Teasing the Seeds out of the Pomegranate.”\r\nâ€Å"That sounds †â⠂¬Å"\r\nâ€Å"Dont worry, its not that hard to learn. I have pictures.”\r\nWe were four days at Joys palace, enjoying comfort, food, and drink such as we hadnt experienced since wed demise seen her. I could have stayed forever, solely on the morning of the fifth day Joshua stood at the entrance to Joys bedchamber, his satchel slung over his shoulder. He didnt say a word. He didnt have to. We shared secedefast with Joy and she met us at the gate to say adios.\r\nâ€Å" convey for the elephant,” she said.\r\nâ€Å" give thanks for the camels,” Joshua said.\r\nâ€Å"Thanks for the sex book,” Joy said.\r\nâ€Å"Thanks for the sex,” I said.\r\nâ€Å"Oh, I forgot, you owe me a cytosine rupees,” Joy said. I had told her more or less Kashmir. The Cruel and Accursed Dragon Princess gr gilded at me. â€Å"Just kidding. Be well, my friend. p post along that amulet I gave you and remember me, huh?”\r\nâ€Å"Of course.” I kissed her a nd climbed on my camels back, then coaxed him to his feet.\r\nJoy embraced Joshua and kissed him on the lips, hard and long. He didnt seem to be trying to push her away.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, we had reveal go, Josh,” I said.\r\nJoy held the Messiah at arms space and said, â€Å"You are ceaselessly wel let here, you know that?”\r\nJosh nodded, then climbed on his camel. â€Å"Go with God, Joy,” he said. As we rode through the gates of the palace the guards shot perk up arrows that trailed long tails of sparks over us until they change integrity above the road ahead: Joys last goodly-bye to us, a tribute to the friendship and arcane acquaintance we had all shared. It scared the bejeezus out of the camels.\r\nAfter we had been on the road awhile, Joshua asked, â€Å"Did you say goodbye to Vana?”\r\nâ€Å"I intend to, but when I went to the stable she was practicing her yoga and I didnt want to disturb her.”\r\nâ€Å"No kidding?”\r\nâ€Å"Really , she was sitting in one of the postures you taught her.”\r\nJoshua smiled. It didnt stomach anything for him to believe that.\r\nThe journey on the Silk Road through the high deserts took us over a month, but it was bazaarly uneventful, except for one attack by a small(a) conference of bandits. When I caught the primary two spears they flung at me and flung them right back, wounding the two who had thrown them, they turned and ran. The stomach was mild, or as mild as one can expect in a sulphurous and brutal desert, but by now Joshua and I had traveled so much in this consort of harsh country that there was little that abnormal us. Just before we reached Antioch, however, a sandstorm whipped up out of the desert that left us screen between our camels for two days, breathing through our shirts and backwash the mud out of our mouths every time we took a drink. The storm constituted enough to travel, and we were at a veritable gallop in the driveways of Antioch when Joshua located an inn by impacting with its sign on his forehead. He was knocked back off his camel and sat up in the street with snag streaming down his face.\r\nâ€Å"Are you hurt badly?” I asked, kneeling beside him. I could merely see in the driving dust.\r\nJoshua looked at the duct of business on his hands where he had touched his forehead. â€Å"I dont know. It doesnt hurt that badly, but I cant set up.”\r\nâ€Å"Inside,” I said, dowry him to his feet and through the door of the inn.\r\nâ€Å"Shut the door,” the innkeeper shouted as the wind whipped through the room. â€Å"Were you born in a barn?”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah,” said Joshua.\r\nâ€Å"He was,” I said. â€Å"Angels on the roof, though.”\r\nâ€Å"Shut the damn door,” said the innkeeper.\r\nI left Joshua sitting there by the door while I went out and found cherish for the camels. When I returned Joshua was wiping his face with a linen material that someone had handed to him. A couple of men stood over him, eager to help. I handed the fabric to one of them and examined Joshs wounds. â€Å"Youll live. A big bump and two cuts, but youll live. You cant do the healing thing on †â€Å"\r\nJoshua shook his head.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, look at this,” one of the travelers who had helped Joshua said, retentivity up the foot of linen Joshua had employ to track his face. The dust and blood from Joshs face had left a perfect likeness on the linen, even handprints where hed gotten blood from his head wound. â€Å"Can I keep this?” the fellow said. He was verbalise Latin, but with a alien accent.\r\nâ€Å"Sure,” I said. â€Å"Where are you fellahs from?”\r\nâ€Å"Were from the Ligurian tribe, from the territories north of Rome. A metropolis on the Po river called Turin. Have you heard of it?”\r\nâ€Å"No, I havent. You know, you fellahs can do what you want with that cloth, but out on my camel Ive got some er otic drawings from the East that are expiry to be worth something someday. I can let you have them for a very fair price.”\r\nThe Turinians went off holding their pathetic swath of profound cloth like it was some kind of holy relic. Ignorant doodly-squats wouldnt know art if you nailed them to it. I apprenticed Joshuas wounds and we checked into the inn for the night.\r\nIn the morning we decided to keep our camels and take the land route home through ca differentiateal of Syria. As we passed out of the gates of capital of Syria on the final leg home, Joshua started to worry.\r\nâ€Å"Im not position to be the Messiah, Biff. If Im being called home to lead our tidy sum I dont even know where to start. I pick up the things I want to teach, but I dont have the words yet. Melchior was right roughly(predicate) that. Before anything you have to have the word.”\r\nâ€Å"Well its not just personnel casualty to incur to you in a flash here on the Damascus road, Jos h. That sort of thing doesnt happen. Youre obviously supposed to learn what you need to know in its own time. To everything a season, yada, yada, yada…”\r\nâ€Å"My father could have do learning all this easier. He could have just told me what I was supposed to do.”\r\nâ€Å"I wonder how Maggies doing. You figure she got fat?”\r\nâ€Å"Im trying to talk somewhat God here, around the Divine Spark, about bringing the realm to our people.”\r\nâ€Å"I know you are, so am I. Do you want to do all of that without help?”\r\nâ€Å"I guess not.”\r\nâ€Å"Well, thats why I was stand foring about Maggie. She was smarter than us before we left, shes probably smarter than us now.”\r\nâ€Å"She was smart, wasnt she? She cute to be a fisherman,” said Josh, grinning. I could tell that the thought of seeing Maggie tickled him.\r\nâ€Å"You cant tell her about all the whores, Josh.”\r\nâ€Å"I wont.”\r\nâ€Å"Or Joy an d the girls. Or the old woman with no teeth.”\r\nâ€Å"I wont tell her about any of them, not even the yak.”\r\nâ€Å"There was cipher with the yak. The yak and I werent even on speaking terms.”\r\nâ€Å"You know, she probably has a dozen children by now.”\r\nâ€Å"I know.” I sighed. â€Å"They should be mine.”\r\nâ€Å"And mine.” Joshua sighed back.\r\nI looked at him as he rode beside me in a sea of lightly loping camel waves. He was staring off at the horizon, tone forlorn. â€Å"Yours and mine? You take they should be yours and mine?”\r\nâ€Å"Sure, why not. You know I love all the little †â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"You are such a doofus sometimes.”\r\nâ€Å"Do you think shell remember us? I represent, how we all were back then?”\r\nI thought about it and shuddered. â€Å"I hope not.”\r\n No sooner did we pass into Galilee than we began to hear about what hind end the Baptist was doing in Judea.\r\nâ⠂¬Å"Hundreds have followed him into the desert,” we heard in Gischala.\r\nâ€Å"Some say he is the Messiah,” one man told us in Baca.\r\nâ€Å"Herod is cowardly of him,” said a woman in Cana.\r\nâ€Å"Hes another crazy holy man,” said a papistical soldier in Sepphoris. â€Å"The Jews breed them like rabbits. I hear he drowns anyone who doesnt agree with him. First valid idea Ive heard since I was sent to this anathemise territory.”\r\nâ€Å"May I have your name, soldier?” I asked.\r\nâ€Å"Caius Junius, of the Sixth Legion.”\r\nâ€Å"Thank you. Well keep you in mind.” To Josh I said, â€Å"Caius Junius: front of the line when we start shoving Romans out of the kingdom into the fiery abyss.”\r\nâ€Å"What did you say?” said the Roman.\r\nâ€Å"No, no, dont thank me, you earned it. Right at the front of the line you go, Caius.”\r\nâ€Å"Biff!” Josh barked, and once he had my attending he whispered, â€Å"Try not to get us thrown into prison before we get home, please.”\r\nI nodded and waved to the legionnaire as we rode away. â€Å"Just crazy Jew talk. carry no attention. Whimper Fidelis,” I said.\r\nâ€Å"We have to queue up John after we see our families,” Joshua said.\r\nâ€Å"Do you think that hes really claiming to be the Messiah?”\r\nâ€Å"No, but it sounds like he knows how to get the word out.”\r\nWe rode into Nazareth a half hour later.\r\nI suppose we expected more upon our arrival. Cheering maybe, little children running at our heels beg for tales of our great adventures, tears and laughter, kisses and hugs, strong shoulders to bear the conquering heroes through the streets. What wed forgotten was that while we were traveling, having adventures, and experiencing wonders, the people of Nazareth had been sustentation through the equivalent old day-to-day doodly-squat †a lot of days had passed, and a lot of crap. When we r ode up to Joshuas old house, his sidekick James was operative outside under the awning, shaving a piece of olive wood into a strut for a camel saddle. I knew it was James the moment I maxim him. He had Joshuas narrow hooked nose and roomy eyes, but his face was more weathered than Joshs, and his corpse heavier with muscle. He looked ten years older than Joshua kinda than the two years younger that he was.\r\nHe put down his spoke shave and stepped out in the sunlight, holding up a hand to shield his eyes.\r\nâ€Å"Joshua?”\r\nJoshua tapped his camel on the back of his knees with the long go crop and the beast lowered him to the ground.\r\nâ€Å"James!” Joshua climbed off the camel and went to his brother, his arms out as if to embrace him, but James stepped back.\r\nâ€Å"Ill go tell Mother that her darling son has returned.” James turned away and I saw the tears literally shoot out of Joshuas eyes into the dust.\r\nâ€Å"James,” Joshua was pleadi ng. â€Å"I didnt know. When?”\r\nJames turned and looked his half brother in the eye. There was no sorrow there, no grief, just anger. â€Å"Two months ago, Joshua. Joseph died two months ago. He asked for you.”\r\nâ€Å"I didnt know,” Joshua said, still holding his arms out for the embrace that wasnt going to come.\r\nâ€Å"Go inside. Mother has been hold for you. She starts every morning wondering if this is the day youll return. Go inside.” He turned away as Joshua went recent him into the house, then James looked up at me. â€Å"The last thing he said was ‘Tell the bastard I love him.”\r\nâ€Å"The bastard?” I said as I coaxed my camel to let me down.\r\nâ€Å"Thats what he always called Joshua. ‘I wonder how the bastard is doing. I wonder where the bastard is today? Always talking about the bastard. And Mother yammering on always about how Joshua did this, and Joshua did that, and what great things Joshua would do when he returned. And all the while Im the one tone out for my brothers and sisters, taking care of them when paternity got sick, taking care of my own family. Still, was there any thanks? A kind word? No, I was doing naught more than paving Joshuas road. You have no idea what its like to always be moment to Joshua.”\r\nâ€Å"Really,” I said. â€Å"Youll have to tell me about that sometime,” I said. â€Å"Tell Josh if he needs me Ill be at my fathers house. My father is still alive, isnt he?”\r\nâ€Å"Yes, and your mother too.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh good, I didnt want to put one of my brothers through breaking the painful news.” I turned and led my camel away.\r\nâ€Å"Go with God, Levi,” James said.\r\nI turned. â€Å"James, it is pen, ‘To the work you are entitled, but not the fruits thereof.”\r\nâ€Å"Ive neer heard that. Where is that written?”\r\nâ€Å"In the Bhagavad Gita, James. Its a long poem about going into battl e, and this warriors god tells him not to worry about killing his kinsmen in battle, because they are already dead, they just dont know it yet. I dont know what made me think of it.”\r\nMy father hugged me until I thought hed broken my ribs, then he handed me off to my mother, who did the same until she seemed to come to her senses, then she began to cuff me about the head and shoulders with her sandal, which she had whipped off with surprising speed and dexterity for a woman her age.\r\nâ€Å"Seventeen years youre gone and you couldnt write?”\r\nâ€Å"You dont know how to read.”\r\nâ€Å"So you couldnt send word, smart mouth?”\r\nI fended off the blows by directing their energy away from me, as I had been taught at the monastery, and soon two small boys who I didnt recognize were catching the brunt of the beating. Fearing lawsuits from small strangers, I caught my mothers arms and hugged them to her sides as I looked at my father, nodded to the two little ones, and raised my eyebrows as if to say, Who are the squirts?\r\nâ€Å"Those are your brothers, Moses and Japeth,” my father said. â€Å"Moses is six and Japeth is five.”\r\nThe little guys grinned. two were missing front teeth, probably sacrificed to the squirming harpy I was currently holding at bay. My father beamed as if to say, I can still build the aqueduct †lay a little pipe, if you know what I mean †when I need to.\r\nI scowled as if to say, Look, I was barely able to hold on to my esteem for you when I found out what you did to make the graduation exercise three of us; these little fellows are simply evidence that youve no memory for suffering.\r\nâ€Å"Mother, if I let you go go forth you calm down?” I looked over her shoulder at Japeth and Moses. â€Å"I used to tell people she was besought by a demon, do you guys do that?” I winked at them.\r\nThey giggled as if to say, Please, end our suffering, kill us, kill us now, or kill this bitch that plagues us like the torments of Job. Okay, maybe I was just imagining thats what they were saying. Maybe they were just giggling.\r\nI let my mother go and she backed off. â€Å"Japeth, Moses,” Mother said, â€Å"come meet Biff. Youve heard your father and me talk about our oldest disappointment †well, this is him. now run and get your other brothers, Ill go fix something nice.”\r\nMy brothers Shem and Lucius brought their families and centered us for dinner party and we all lay around the table as Mother served us something nice, Im not sure what it was. (I know Ive said that I was the oldest of three brothers, and obviously, with the squirts, it was five, but dammit, by the time I met Japeth and Moses I was too old to have the time to torment them, so they never really paid their dues as brothers. They were more like, oh, pets.) â€Å"Mother, Ive brought you a gift from the East,” I said, running out to the camel to feel a package.\r\n â€Å"What is it?”\r\nâ€Å"Its a breeding mongoose,” I said, tapping on the henhouse. The little scamp tried to bite the drift off of my finger.\r\nâ€Å"But theres only one.”\r\nâ€Å"Well, there were two, but one escaped, so now theres one. Theyll attack a snake ten times their size.”\r\nâ€Å"It looks like a rat.”\r\nI lowered my fathom and whispered conspiratorially, â€Å"In India, the women train them to sit on their heads like hats. very(prenominal) fashionable. Of course the fad hasnt reached Galilee yet, but in Antioch, no self-respecting woman will go out of the house without wearing a mongoose.”\r\nâ€Å"Really,” said Mother, looking at the mongoose in a new light. She took the cage and stowed it gently away in the corner, as if it contained a delicate egg, rather than a vicious elucidation of herself. â€Å"So,” said Mother, waving to her two daughters-in-law and the half-dozen grandchildren that loitered near the table, â€Å"your brothers wed and gave me grandchildren.”\r\nâ€Å"Im happy for them, Mother.”\r\nShem and Lucius hid their grins behind a crust of flatbread the same way they did when we were little and Mother was giving me hell.\r\nâ€Å" completely the places you traveled, you never met a nice girl you could settle down with?”\r\nâ€Å"No, Mother.”\r\nâ€Å"You can join a gentile, you know. It would break my heart, but why did the tribes almost wipe out the Benjamites if it wasnt so a desperate boy could marry a gentile if he needs to? Not a Samaritan, but, you know, some other gentile. If you have to.”\r\nâ€Å"Thanks, Mother, Ill keep that in mind.”\r\nMother pretended to find some lint or something on my collar, which she picked at while she said, â€Å"So your friend Joshua never married either? You heard about his little sister Miriam, didnt you?” Here her voice went to a conspiratorial whisper. â€Å"Started wearing m ens uniform and ran off to the island of Lesbos.” Back to normal nudging tone. â€Å"Thats classical, you know? You boys didnt go to Greece on your travels, did you?”\r\nâ€Å"No, Mother, I really have to go.”\r\nI tried to stand and she grabbed me. â€Å"Its because your father has a Greek name, isnt it? I told you, Alphaeus, change the name, but you said you were tall of it. Well, I hope youre proud of it now. Whats next, Lucius here will start hanging Jews on crosses like the other Romans?”\r\nâ€Å"Im not a Roman, Mother,” Lucius said wearily. â€Å"Lots of good Jews have Latin names.”\r\nâ€Å"Not that it matters, Mother, but how do you think they get more Greeks?”\r\nTo my mothers credit, she stopped for a second to think. I used the lull to escape.\r\nâ€Å"Nice to see you guys.” I nodded to all of my relatives, old and new. â€Å"Ill come by and visit before I go. I have to go check on Joshua.” And I was out th e door.\r\nI threw the door open at Joshuas old house without even knocking, nearly coldcocking Joshuas brother Judah in the process. â€Å"Josh, youve got to bring the kingdom soon or Im going to have to kill my mother.”\r\nâ€Å"She still plagued by demons?” asked Judah, who looked exactly as he had when he was four, except for the beard and the receding hairline, but he was as wide-eyed and goofy of smile as he had ever been.\r\nâ€Å"No, I was just being brilliant when I used to say that.”\r\nâ€Å"Will you join us for supper?” said bloody shame. Thank God she had of age(p): gone a little thicker around the hips and waist, veritable some lines at the corner of her eyes and mouth. Now she was just the second or third most beautiful creature on earth.\r\nâ€Å"Love to,” I said.\r\nJames must have been home with his wife and children, as I guessed were the other sisters and brothers, except for Miriam, and Id already been apprised of her where abouts. At the table it was only Mary, Joshua, Judah, his pretty wife, Ruth, and two little redheaded girls that looked like their mother.\r\nI uttered my condolences for the familys loss, and Joshua filled me in on the timing of events. more or less the time that I spotted Marys portrait on the temple wall in Nicobar, Joseph had taken ill with some disease of the water. He started peeing blood, and in a week he was bedridden. He lingered only a week longer before he died. Hed been buried for two months now. I looked at Joshua as Mary related this part of the story and he shook his head, meaning, too long in the grave, theres nothing I can do. Mary had know nothing about a message calling us home.\r\nâ€Å"Even if you two had only been in Damascus youd have been lucky to get here in time. He went so fast.” She was strong, had recovered somewhat from the loss, but Joshua appeared to still be in shock.\r\nâ€Å"You have to go find Joshuas cousin John,” Mary said. †Å"Hes been preaching about the coming of the kingdom, of preparing the way for the Messiah.”\r\nâ€Å"Weve heard,” I said.\r\nâ€Å"Ill stay here with you, Mother,” Joshua said. â€Å"James is right, I have responsibilities. Ive shirked them too long.”\r\nMary touched her sons face and looked in his eyes. â€Å"You will leave in the morning and you will find John the Baptist in Judea and you will do what God has prescribed you do since he placed you in my womb. Your responsibilities are not to a bitter brother or an old woman.”\r\nJoshua looked at me. â€Å"Can you leave in the morning? I know its soon after being gone so long.”\r\nâ€Å"Actually, I thought Id stay, Josh. Your mother needs someone to look after her, and shes still a relatively attractive woman. I mean, a guy could do worse.”\r\nJudah aspirated an olive pit and began coughing furiously until Joshua pounded him on the back and the pit shot across the room, leaving Judah gasping and staring at me through watery red eyes.\r\nI put my hand on Joshua and Judahs shoulders. â€Å"I think I can learn to love you both as sons.” I looked at the pretty but faint Ruth, who was tending the little girls. â€Å"And you, Ruth, I hope that you can learn to love me as a slightly older, but incredibly attractive close uncle. And you, Mary †â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"Will you go with Joshua to Judea, Biff?” Mary interrupted.\r\nâ€Å"Sure, first thing in the morning.”\r\nJoshua and Judah were still staring at me as if theyd both been smacked in the face with a large fish. â€Å"What?” I said. â€Å"How long have you guys known me? Jeez. Grow a sense of humor.”\r\nâ€Å"Our father died,” said Joshua.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, but not today,” I said. â€Å"Ill meet you here in the morning.”\r\nThe next morning, as we rode through the square, we passed baronetholomew, the hamlet idiot, who looked no worse or less nasty for the years gone by, and who seemed to have come to some sort of understanding with his doggy friends. Instead of parachuting all over him as they always had, now they sat quietly before him in a group, as if listening to a sermon.\r\nâ€Å"Where have you been?” Bart called to us.\r\nâ€Å"In the East.”\r\nâ€Å"Why did you go there?”\r\nâ€Å"We were looking for the Divine Spark,” Joshua said. â€Å"But we didnt know that when we left.”\r\nâ€Å"Where are you going?”\r\nâ€Å"To Judea, to find John the Baptist.”\r\nâ€Å"He should be easier to find than the Spark. Can I come?”\r\nâ€Å"Sure,” I said. â€Å" get under ones skin your things.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont have any things.”\r\nâ€Å"Then bring your stench.”\r\nâ€Å"That will follow on its own,” Bartholomew said.\r\nAnd thus we became three.\r\n'